Winter Blossoms in Detroit

When I landed in Detroit, it was winter but I was feeling warm on the inside. Maybe it was emotion or maybe it was lupus, who knows? I was back in the loving arms of my family and friends. My mother was relieved about my return but my illness weighed on her. It was apparent each morning that she had to leave me each morning for work. When she returned in the afternoon, I was in the same position, my back propped up on pillows in her bed with my chin on my chest. I was so weak that she had to help me put socks on my feet because I stayed cold. She also had to assist me to the restroom because lupus was wrecking havoc on my legs. To stand for long periods of time made me hot, light headed and dizzy. All of these elements combined to form a mother's nightmare. She finished eight hours in the school system and then had to come home and fight the adversary that was messing with her only child.

I just didn't want her to worry herself to death. I might not have been the healthiest but if there is one thing that I know how to do, I know how to fight courtesy of my mom. We don't war with flesh and blood but with spirits of evil. Meaning I had to pray like hell to get this spirit off of me. I didn't do anything per say to bring lupus upon me but the devil will find any way to enter our lives. Unfortunately, he chose my health but I guess he didn't get the word that I'm covered on that end also.

Now I know that it may sound like I fought my battle with ease but it was a truly a nerve rattling thing. I was never scared for myself but moreso for those that loved me. I remember asking God just to spare me for my mother. My mother didn't sacrafice her whole life for her daughter just to bury her daughter. I rebuked that wholeheartedly.

During this time, the rest of my family pulled together which was nothing new. We had buried my aunt two days after my birthday in March of 2008 and my mind fell on a voicemail that she had left me when I first moved to Tallahassee. "Sherri, you are blessed. You are blessing. Whatever you want in this world is yours. You are blessed. Thank you, baby. Thank you. I love you." It almost became my victory chant that only I could hear and reply in my spirit. Auntie Helen told me that I was victorious from the grave.

At the time, my youngest cousin was 20 years old and he was just beginning his conversations with God. I feared that if I took a turn for the worse that he would curse God. I wanted my cousin and God to get off on the right foot so to speak so I always prayed that God would let Justin's prayers manifest. He would buy lots of anti-oxidant and herbal teas for me. Justin made me promise that if I recovered that he would get us front row tickets to a Beyonce concert that upcoming July. (He kept his promise. We were there shaking our tailfeathers and we even shook her hand.) My other little cousin would brew me cups of tea at a time. I remember my aunt rushing over with cocoa and shea butter to heal my face from the lupus rash that was covering my nose and cheeks. My other aunt, whom I have written about before, was back on her post cooking things that don't mix. Shrimp and hamhocks. Cinnamon buns and taco salad. Days like that I was glad I was on medication.

I can recall anticipating my uncle's visit. As he neared my bedroom, I put my hands over my face so he couldn't see my scars. I didn't take my hands from over my face until he called my name. I was ashamed to let my uncle see me. Everyone else could see me, no problem, but it hurt me to let my uncle see me. In true Uncle Bill form he said, "Oh no, we gotta do something about this." He has never let his niece suffer. Never.

Word got out that I was sick. Satan's head was pelted with prayers as far away as London. The Holy Spirit interceeded for me many a days. I just didn't have the strength to pray. Satan's attack may have compromised my body but he didn't have my mind. I said, 'thank you, Lord' plenty times in mind and spirit. When the pains were hitting me the worse, I was too exhausted to cry but I knew how to say 'thank you'.

My ordeal made some of my friends convert from "thoughts" to "prayers". Some of them never uttered the word prayer til the devil started to meddle with me. Those thoughts turned to prayers, pronto. The ones that were already prayer warriors kicked their prayers into overtime. How grateful I am for the entire Jones family. They visited often, prayed with me, laughed and spoke encouaging words over my situation.

I've always thought myself to be the example. God knows who can handle what and like Job I did believe that no matter how hot it got in my kitchen, God was with me. He said where ever we make our beds, whether it be the hospital bed, the outhouse or the whorehouse, He was with us. God is always available. If God needed to use me so that others can see His power then so be it. Take me, I'll go. I knew in my heart of hearts that on the other side of the potential tragedy was powerful triumph. It is a terrible thing for the adversary to meddle with royalty. God is going to get His glory.

Sometimes you have to go home to get your blessings. Sometimes you have to retreat to regroup. Most times God has to get you alone to speak to you. Most times the trial isn't chastisement but rather Him covering and re-creating you for what's to come. Many times we aren't going to understand it but we must stand in knowing that all the time, God is good. I praise His name for me blossoming in the winter.

In the bed in Tallahassee (Dec '08) Lupus rash and fat cheeks.

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Sorry about the blurry pics. Started chemo and my scalp is scarred and my hair is thining (Jan '09). Lower pic is a closer look at mean lupus.

In Detroit (April '09), a couple months into chemo treatments. My hair had fallen out considerably but I was still grinning. I wasn't surrendering my joy!

Looking better and feeling stronger (May '09). Still on the thin side (I can tell by looking at my neck). Still smiling.

In Orlando (Nov '09) and In Detroit (Dec '09). God said it and I believed it. I took Him at his word.

(Still grinning and looking like my old self.)