Push Past Pain

I can identify with the saying that the road to hell is littered with good intentions. Good thing I was granted this day to make this blogging thing right. I’ve always said that it is my plan to write an entry once a week. Clearly, I am almost three weeks behind. At least, I have a great excuse. And the great excuse is….I’ve completed a 50,000 word novel!!!! About darn time, right? My cousin Natalie told me about a writing competition (November is National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo) that challenged writers to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. It sounded like a good idea at the time but baby, by the 22nd word, I was asking myself, “what in heck have you gotten yourself into this time, girl?” That’s the Aries in me. Just jumping into things without looking.

So I wrote and created characters. I created characters and created plots. I created plots and plotted storylines. The storylines morphed into chapters. Watch out now. By the 15th of November, I was more than halfway there. But by Monday, November 30 at 10 in the morning, a sister was tired and I had 4,000 more words to go. The light was at the end of the tunnel but my choo choo train had slowed, slowed down. I wanted to nap and I wanted to eat. Once I finished napping and eating, I wanted to do anything but write. It’s funny because when you need to do something you come up with all sorts of things to do in order not to do what you are supposed to do. I was wiping down walls, washing the dog’s clothes, blowing my breath in my bedroom window and writing my name in it with my index finger. I even went in the basement, turned the fan on high and sang “P.Y.T” into the rotating blades. Yes, I knew I needed to get ahold of myself but first, I needed a nap.

My Facebook friends encouraged me to keep going. I appreciated that but I had to encourage myself at this point. I was no where near motivated to do anything. My motivation just left me. It just went. I guess I had worn myself out by moonwalking and singing in the fan’s blades. By this time, it was 8 p.m. Then it became 9 p.m. Then, I had a talk with myself. “C’mon, girl. You didn’t come this far to throw in the towel. Sit your behind down and do what you need to do.” I hate it when I’m reasonable with myself. It’s no fun and more than likely that part of myself isn’t doing the moonwalk.

So I sat down and wrote until I had scribed 50,148 words. I would say that I was overcome with joy but that would be a fib. I would say I did the “happy dance” and patted myself on the back but I would be lying. I downloaded my award certificate and got my little self in the bed. That was Monday night. Now it’s Thursday and I still haven’t looked at my manuscript. I did check my email and received delightful news though. CreateSpace has offered me and the other participants that finished the 50,000 words a soft cover copy of our books. I can build my own cover, add pictures and everything for free. The company will bound it for me and make it look all professional. Then “you can then choose if you want to make it available to the public at large-everything from showing up for sale on Amazon.com to complete invisibility.” Now which option do you think that I’m going to choose?? The offer expires on July 10 which is right around the corner in my eyes. Finally something that has me perking up!

Lesson learned: We have to do the grunt work to see the results. I dreaded writing. I absolutely, positively didn’t want to write a syllable towards the end but I pressed through what I didn’t want to do. It is written that we must press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. There is a blessing when we press through. Sometimes, these occurrences are unexpected blessings. I guess that further drives home the belief that we walk by faith and not by sight. We have to persevere and push through. We owe it to ourselves to see what beautiful surprise is on the other side.