Tomatoes and Terrible Talk

Sometimes all it takes is a 15 minute conversation with someone to reinforce how fortunate you are.

I met a lady, a very nice lady, a while back as I shopped for fresh melons in a suburban supermaket. I have the uncanny ability of attracting strangers and having conversations with them as if I've known them all of my life.

After telephone conversations and lunch outings at cafes with patios, she invited me to her home. I didn't see the 80 year old as a threat so I went.

Her home was immaculate. As I walked through the foyer and the various sitting rooms and dining rooms, I told myself that a small third world country could live in these digs.

The home was off the water and as we sat on her back deck, I saw boats with fancy names pained on the side bobbing within eyeshot. Nice. I was sure happy when she brought out the food. That's always a bright spot in my day. We had small portions. If you know me, you already know how I felt about that. Don't give me a couple slices of pumpernickel lady, gimme the whole loaf. Lord, help me to hold my greedy tendencies together out here on this nice deck.

I noticed that the deck had inordinate amounts of paraphernalia to block the sun. I mean this lady had all kinds of things to block UV rays. I told myself that I needed an arsenal like this to block the rays to avoid summer lupus flares. Just as I was finishing this thought, she dropped a bombshell; she also has lupus. My eyes bucked but by then she was off and running.

"This disease is the worse. I can't do anything that I want to do. My family doesn't understand-actually they're the worst-with what it means to have lupus. They call and actually get attitudes when I tell them there are many things that I can't do. Need some more Grey Poupon, honey? Some of my friends are just as bad and instead going through my bad days with me, they would rather just stay away. Need more ice cubes for your iced tea, baby? Oh and let's not get started on the extensive bloodwork that my doctor's require. My right arm has been poked so many times that my veins have collapsed. Some days it's not even worth living."

After hearing all of that, I didn't even want to tell her that I was suffering from lupus. She had taken me from 0 to 60 in 26 seconds flat. I never saw all of that coming. She almost ruined my appetite. Almost. I ate everything except the yolks of those eggs.

I listened to her go on and on and on for a little while longer. I rationed in my head that it was important for me to reveal my identical health issue. So I did and she thought she had a partner in her "life sucks" rant. No ma'am, this is a good lunch but I did see a Panera Bread on my drive here. I will not stand for negative talk coupled with a good lunch.

Needless to say, I was plotting my exit through those immaculate French doors.

On my way home, I got a Chicken Salad sandwich from Panera Bread. Yum and deelish. Evenmoreso because I had positive vibes and convo going on. I can't control what other people say and do but I can darn show control what I say and do. And sometimes my controlling what I say and do may involve me saying 'adios' and bidding someone farewell keeping in mind that I am my first defense in my own preservation.

Good people we already know that it is important not to have negative people or vibes around us. Now let’s consider what goes into our ears. Just as we guard our hearts, we should also guard our ears. Not everything is worthy of being heard. Let’s think of it like this. Our ears are physically the closest thing to our hearts. It’s always been said that an action starts with a thought. Therefore, let’s not let wicked things into our ears because negative thoughts that can lead to damaging actions. Let’s be careful with whom we let bend our ears. Let’s also be careful with the music that we favor. Foolish “musicians” are being made millionaires from music that can potentially damage our souls.

My mother has always said, "Sherri, you can't eat with everybody." Prior to this experience, I would tell her that she sounded like a drunken woman. But as usual, mother knew best, just as she always does. You can't break tomato sandwiches with everybody, no matter how ripe and appealing they are.