He Has Smiled On Me

 am more tired than a one-legged man in a cock fighting contest. Now that’s tired. That’s also an improvement. There was a time when I wouldn’t admit that I was tired. That’s probably because I never took time to access myself to truly determine how I was feeling. Now I perform self-assessments often. I have to. My life depends on it. There’s nothing like a lupus flare to get you on the good foot, I tell ya. Rest will have to wait though because May is Lupus Awareness Month and lupus events are in overdrive. I guess it is true. Whatever doesn’t kill you make you stronger. With all May’s activities, I had better have Popeye-eating-bags-of-spinach strength.

Speaking of strength, I get tickled so easily thinking back to a year ago when I was feeble and weak. So weak that my little cousin would have to pick me up and take me to the little girl’s room. Now, I’m strong enough to make it to the restroom by myself and evidently, strong enough that God has entrusted me with a powerful work.

Lupus is a disease that is more prevalent that multiple sclerosis, cystic fibrosis, sickle cell anemia and cerebral palsy combined. COMBINED yet it is the least known of all of the diseases. Nine out of 10 people who have lupus are women. Furthermore, African American women are three times as likely as white women to get lupus and tend to develop lupus at a younger age and have more complications. When I read those statistics it truly humbles me to think that I was spoke out to do something about this disease. Me, who every third or so word out of my mouth is probably a curse word. Me, who if it were left up to me, would laugh and giggle all day. Me who, contrary to popular belief, likes being in the background. Remember my life’s goal was always to be a published author (anonymity) and live quietly and in peace with my wealth and a Dairy Queen. That’s all. I don’t ask for much.

Clearly, my man-made plan wasn’t productive enough for God. Now He has positioned me to be the so-called Face of Lupus for the Lupus Alliance of America. It is my big head that’s the dominant photo on the website. www.milupus.org. Last week, I hosted a televised show introducing the Lupus Alliance of America to everyone that watched. As I drove to the taping of the show, I prayed that if just one person watched and got the help that they needed, we had done our job. Lo and behold, we had quite a few callers who said they were so glad to see someone doing a television show about lupus. Callers were so interested further clarifying there is a need for lupus education and awareness.

Upon the show’s completion, I called my mother from the studio. Just hearing the joy and glee in her voice somehow made being sick as a dog all last year made it all worth it (in some deranged sort of way). She said she saw her deceased mother and sister all through me. I asked her if I looked dead. She said no and that I just looked like them on television. She added that she was proud of me for doing a great job. I’m a thug but that made me tear up. I had to turn my back and collect myself. Just a little background about my mother is that she isn’t the most emotional person. She is as sweet as pie but “I love you. You love me” my mama is not. The last time she was this happy was when I got a scholarship to college. Even at college graduation, I think she was like “Thank you Jesus, I kept her off the pole (stripping), she isn’t strung out on drugs and she doesn’t have 5 kids by seven different babies daddies. Glory to your name, Lord!” She probably thought her work was done and she could die at that moment. But anyhoo, that day in the studio she was so proud that it even shook my composed self. I took her a copy of the show and she went in my bedroom and watched it again, like it was her first time watching it.

his Sunday, I will be a guest on the ‘Girl, Bye’ show at 7pm on WJLB, FM 98. Since May is Lupus Awareness month, they were gracious enough to include a lupus segment in a health related show they are planning. The following week, I will tape a segment for the Street Beats show to be televised at a later date. The following Saturday, I am a panelist for the SHE’s (Sisters Helping Encourage Sisters) Empowered Butterfly Bash. Someone actually wants me sit down and encourage other people. Who would’ve thought that one? I’m on the panel with local radio personalities and women are who are really doing it big. Like Pastor Lewis said, “it’s better to be called upon versus someone telling you sit your so-and-so down.” Okay, I threw in the so-and-so but you get the gist of what I’m saying.

During the week of May 23rd until the 29th, some PBS stations but not all of them because as I understand it, local PBS stations select shows at their discretion, will air A Wider World, A Show about Abilities and guess who will be profiled in a segment? That’s right, the one who just thought she was going to write books and live happily ever after with the Dairy Queen as her neighbor. The show will air in my hometown on Channel 56 at 5:30pm. It will be uploaded to their youtube website once the show has aired. My mom, cousin, God-sister, God-mother and best friend were interviewed. I wonder what dead family members my mom will unearth to say that I look like on-camera. “You look like your great, great, great aunt who worked on a plantation.”

Also, the Lupus Alliance of America has a commercial!! Yay! We were able to get it underwritten by the good folks at Sinai-Grace Hospital and the Wholesome Smiles and the Traveling Tooth Station Mobile units. I can’t figure out exactly how to post the link but here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38AszOr7R_A Just cut and paste this link and viola. That’s me in my spring color, mellow yellow.

I’ve been humming this song for the past couple of days. Look beyond the writing across the video and listen to homegirl’s rendition of “God Has Smiled on Me.” Ya’ll we are so blessed and fortunate. Please take nothing in this lifetime for granted. Until next time…and in the meantime, please, pray my strength. The kid is a little tired!