Walk Tall Despite it All

It was a Friday and I was fit to be tired. I got home from a day at work and my mother is going on and on about a vegetable lasagna recipe that she printed out online. She was so excited for me to help her cook it. Pump your brakes, Ma. HELP you cook it. Give me that recipe. Let me see if my help was one of the ingredients. She didn’t understand that lasagna’s preparation was more of a challenge than actually cooking it.


I asked her what size lasagna she was making and she said “a small one” and then proceeded to pull out a pan that could hold a 10 pound child. Looking from the pan to the ingredients that she had purchased, she didn’t have the right quantities of anything. One (small) can of crushed tomatoes, one (itty bitty) can of diced tomatoes, one container of ricotta cheese. Now I know that Jesus fed the multitudes with 4 goldfish and a loaf of Wonder bread but Mom was just being a bit too ambitious with these skant ingredients. So I volunteered to go to the supermarket to get additional items that were needed. That made her happy.


I quickly got everything at the supermarket and checked out. I’m taking supermodel strides trying to get out of the grocery store. It’s hot and the market is filling up with the after work crowd. A kid stops me in my supermodel tracks and asks me if I could spare some seventy five cents. In a milli-second, I’m thinking what the heck can seventy five cents buy nowadays? So me being me, I ask him. He says, “ma’am, I’m just trying to get something to eat.” What the hell is he going to eat that costs seventy five cents? Blow pops? The red Swedish Fish candies? I’m sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself. Those are things that I would buy if I had seventy five cents. Silly me.


He had a plastic bag tied tightly but I could see about three pop cans (soda cans for you Southerners ;) inside of it. “Meet me at Subway,” I told him. “Subway?” he repeated. “Yes, do you know where that is?” He pointed across the parking lot and I nodded. He headed in the restaurant’s direction. I headed to my car. Even though the walk to the Subway had a covered walkway, I had to drive the 6 seconds that it took to get there. It was hot outside and besides I didn’t want my mom’s lasagna ingredients to melt. I mean who wants melted mozzarella cheese?


When I park my car and meet him inside, I visually access him. We were third in line and so I had time. He had on shorts to his knees and an olive colored t-shirt and gym shoes that were tattered and worn. He had a couple scratches lighter than his complexion above his right eyebrow. One of his top front teeth appeared not to have grown in all the way. I wanted to know more about why he was panhandling for seventy five cents and so I asked where his parents were. “My daddy in the grave. My mama strung out. I live with my uncle.” He had just finished up his 10th grade year at a local high school and “finished with a 2.5. I think that’s pretty good.” I agreed with him. I played up that 2.5 grade point average like he told me he had a 4.5 g.p.a. Hell, some kids with stable households bring home 1.7’s so his 2.5 was gold to me.


He was so excited because after next school year, he was going to enroll in Job Corps. He kept mentioning “free”. “I’m going to have free food, a free place to live, free education…” His excitement overflowed so much that the lady in front of him turned around and smiled. Not to be Debbie Downer but I cautioned him that everything that is free may not necessarily be good for him. Just a lesson as he goes about his life. He went on to say that his trustee takes all of his money and doesn’t give him any. He said the trustee was someone other than his uncle. I asked him why he doesn’t get a job for the summer. He has a job interview this weekend at Wildwood Flower Shop. He was so happy.

He got a number 7 footlong. Bacon and all those extra meats. He got a bag of chips and a fruit punch with no ice. The total was $6.36. He said, “see there. That’s why I don’t come here that often. It’s too expensive.” He told me thank you. I wished him many successes and to always be encouraged. I also reminded him that when he gets into a position to help somebody, help somebody. We walked outside Subway, me first and him behind me. Then the oddest thing happened. I started towards my car and when I looked back over my shoulder he was gone. I looked over my other shoulder but still didn’t see him. Now that I think about it, I’m glad I didn’t see him. I would have tried to get his contact information so I could go after this trustee who is taking all of his money. I can hear my aunt Deb now. “Sherri, you can’t help everybody.” I know, I know. And I’m going to kill myself trying. Help me, Jesus.


Over the next couple of days, I began to think more about those 20 minutes worth of events and I got angry. Not even two weeks ago, Lebron James had an hour long press conference just to announce that he was leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to make goo-goobs of money in Miami. An hour long press conference. Boy. Boy. Boy. Once again the powers that be are entertaining our asses to death once again. How about the powers that be give the Subway kid an hour long press conference addressing everything he has been through. I’m sure his story can help some other kid in his situation and spur some kind of effort to make sure that what is happening to him doesn’t happen to anyone else. No, we can’t stop his parent from dying or maybe not even his mom from being strung out but we can definitely do something about the aftermath. We can do something about him being taking advantage of by his trustee. We can do something about him not having the basic necessities such as soap. I draw this conclusion from his nails appearing that he had been potting plants all day. Something can be done about him thinking that Subway is “too expensive”. A $6 sandwich meal?!?! If someone takes him to the Olive Garden, he might fall out. Call the ‘medics.


It just gets me all worked up because the United States of America is supposed to be wealthiest nation but we have our 10th graders walking around here elated about going to Job Corps so they can get some relief from the hell that is home because the court system has obviously failed them. Now when they hear the words “free meals”, “free housing”, it gets them excited leading me to believe this Subway kid never had a childhood. He’s been too busy trying to figure out where his next meal was going to come from.


In an attempt to look at the bright side of things, I also observed that he had the sweetest demeanor. He was very kind and forthcoming. During our conversation he pointed out that “people always think that I’m trying to get money to buy drugs but ma’am, I’m just trying to eat.” Wow. I appreciated that he still had his child-look zeal for life. He was so excited about the prospect of his pending job interview and his Job Corps initiation. He spoke about the upcoming events with so much enthusiasm and it made me so happy that he was about to get some sunshine in his life.


I just felt the need to share this story because I still come across so many ungrateful people and I can’t handle it. Somebody somewhere will love to have your worst day and you are still complaining. I also felt the need to share because I’m just afraid that too many folks are getting caught up in the entertainment aspect of life. That’s what the enemy specializes in. He will attempt to take your mind of what is important and try to focus it on multi million dollar athlete’s press conferences while the city, the school systems or even your household become undone. Don’t be entertained. Be empowered.


A favorite of mine, Lamar, shared this video with me. It’s a segment from Oprah’s Legends Ball and it features the great Bishop Walter Hawkins singers (Hawkins recently was welcomed into heaven) , Yolanda Adams, Patti LaBelle and BeBe Winans among others. Valerie Simpson of Ashford and Simpson fame took to the mic and sang “we gone walk taller, we gone think higher, we gone be better.” Yes, I am. What about you?

I Want to Thank You

My life went from 0 to 60 in what seems like overnight. I feel like I am behind on everything from reading, to cleaning to the 220 emails beckoning for my attention. This whirlwind that has become my life has also left me in limbo from telling my girlfriends that I love me and how important they are to me.

I had been meaning to buy cards and mail them but being that I don't keep with up with addresses, mailing cards would be another chore in itself. It is common knowledge that I am not particularly fond of the telephone and I really didn't want call all of those yahoos anyway. So I figured most of my friends read my blog and they would see their thank you electronically. To all of my friends that I have had since I was knee high to a grass hopper to the ones that have rallied around me within the past year, YOU ARE THE BEST and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I know some of you all, ahem April, consider yourself "thugs" and don't do well in the 'expressing your feelings' section but I love you and I refuse to take it back.

In my line of work as well of my everyday life, I come across many folks who have been betrayed by friends or whose friends have flat out deserted them. I can say wholeheartedly that that's not my story. All criticism directed towards me has always been constructive and has always come from a loving place (or I have been bamboozled to believe.)

It has always been said and I have always believed that to have a friend is to be one. Since I don't have any siblings, I've always kept my friends close to me. The ironic thing is that most of my friends are either only children themselves or the oldest child. That dispels the rumor that strong-minded women can't get along. We get along and we get whatever needs to get done, we get her done. We are the A-Team.

My longest friendship, which I think is common knowledge by now, has been with Cherish (last name with held in case she's on the lam). She says that we met when I offered her some of my birthday cake in kindergarten. She must really had the IT factor 'cause I don't share my cake with nobody. No ma'am. For those of you that are counting, that's over 25 years ago and she's been my girl. (Take that Oprah and Gail!) We have never fought about anything, agree to disagree often and our fashion tastes are like night and day. The ties that bind us are our strong wills, humor, desire to succeed and delighting in most things edible. We learned all these traits as Girl Scouts. Her mom was our troop leader. Brownies around the world, stand up![[EMOTICON:SMILEY1]]

So I just want to thank those who have nurtured me. Since my heart is so much larger than my hands, I hate to name names because I am bound to forget someone. However, whenever life seems a little rough, always know that you are the foundation that keeps Sherri Blaise together.

Whether it was a laugh (Sydni and the finger puppets)or a song (April and the Alicia Myers songs gone all wrong) there was always someone to deliver. Rosie (one of the best BFF's in the world. Whatever I needed, you made it happen), Ebony (your silent strength is the business. You have taken care of me forever. I still remember that mac and cheese you cooked for me when we were 12. Your mom is in heaven smiling, girl. You are an amazing woman), Q, (a lil pocket padding goes a long way, thanks), Ber (no one can stay down long with you and those one liners), Jean (thank you for letting me cry and reminding me of my power. You have a supernatural calling on your life, my dear. Me and your mama talked about it. That's right. I called yo mama!), Theda (giving me all those sweets that I didn't need and trying to counteract it with apples. I was constipated for days), Summer (you always say I encourage you but I dig your sunny outlook on the regular. You're a boss), Kelly (I know you can get a prayer through) Mai and Meg (did we exhale ladies or did we exhale? And look at us now...so much better) Corin and Kim (your thoughtful texts don't go unnoticed), Shana, Brynna, Mama Jones (the visits were nothing short of hilarity and encouraging) and I can't forget mt Florida crew, KP, Yetta, Dia, Nicole, Miriam, Nay Nay-I would be literally dead without you gals.

To say that I am blessed is an understatment. To all the women I forgot to mention, remember blame my head not me heart. Be blessed...


A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. ~Donna Roberts

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. ~Author Unknown

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend. ~Henry David Thoreau

Man's Rejection is God's Protection

I am about two seconds from renaming this blog, "Inspirations...About Once a Month". I was determined to post a message before March. I am ashamed that I haven't posted during the whole month of February which is also Black History Month. I clearly took some type of hiatus. Harriet Tubman would not be proud.

One thing I did do was talk to one of my former church members in Tallahassee. Her name is Dana. She is sweet as pie and she, too, was a Tallahassee transplant. She was from a small town in central Florida and happily made her home in Tally as we called it. We often spoke about how we never wanted to go back to our hometowns and how we would stay in Tally til death did us part. Dana also had a daughter and thought that Tally was the best place to rear her kid.

Just as my health problem started so did her financial problems. She begin to get eviction notices on her apartment door and her car had broken down. Like the image of the girl on the salt container walking in the rain with an umbrella, when it rains it pours. Like me, Dana was tenacious and decided to fight. She kept looking for jobs until she finally got one. It was also a job that she ultimately found that she hated. She found favor in that she was able to get a brand new set of wheels. Her new car sure was purty, all shiny and new.

She started to hate her job more and more. The bills kept mounting when one day she called me sounding defeated. "Girl, I have to move back to my parents house." I could offer no comforting words because at the time I had moved back to my mother's house battling lupus. So I mustered up, "Don't worry. Something good is going to come out it. Wait and see." She accepted the general verbiage but that was all I had to offer. I mean, I myself, was bedridden and was going through many things that have been very well documented within this blog. Heck, I was still waiting for my "good to come out of it" but I really didn't see the point of saying "girl, what we are going through is some bull@#$!" This was my church member after all.

She and her daughter returned home and the heavens opened up. She found a job that she loved. Her daughter is excelling leaps and bounds in school. She has been able to pay down and pay off some of her debt. She was most excited that now she and her daughter have top of the line health care insurance. Amen.

So, a couple of days ago, we were sitting on the phone, laughing at how we didn't want to leave Tally and how we left kicking and screaming. When we finally departed the city, we reenacted the scene from 'The Color Purple' when Celie and Nettie were playing Patty Cake. We were cracking up thinking about that image. Like those open hands that were used to play patty cake, our hands had to be open for God to grab it and take us to the next chapter in our lives.

I remember listening to a former mentor of mine, Crystal Mayo, as I accepted a journalism award as a high school senior. She said something that I will never forget and that I carry with me to this day. She held up her clenched fist and said, "with your hands closed nothing can get in and nothing can get out. It's when you open your hand that you can give and receive." Then she unballed her hand and waved her fingers. I will never forget that in life. Her voice cracked and tears began to stream down her face. I remember saying to myself, "damn, she meant that. I think I had better give that a try."

That scene from that evening thirteen years ago has been on my mind recently and especially pertains to me and Dana's situation. She and I thought we had hit our strides. Oh boy, were we having fun in Tallahassee. She being a career woman and mom. Me being the sought after 'eyelash lady' managing my own business and, in Jean's words, having the men all pause when I walked into the local jook joints. Now we don't even miss Tallahassee or what it offered.

I honestly have not thought about an eyelash since I have been in Detroit nor had any desire to do any eyelashes. My Godsister asked me recently to do hers and I almost asked her what she was talking about. I had to catch myself. Oh yeah, just last year I forgot it was embedded in my mind that I was going back to Tallahasssee and to eyelashes. So much so that I paid three months rent on an apartment that I wasn't even living in just waiting for my healing and so that I could go back south. My immediate healing never came but thank God I wasn't foolish enough to close my hand in the midst of my storm.

Coincidentally, Dana doesn't miss Tallahassee either. She thinks returning home was the best thing that has happened to her. I couldn't agree more. I feel the same way about my situation.

I guess it's true. When you make plans, God not only laughs but he hollers! I am constantly reminded not to get attached to anything in this world. When you are removed from a situation, it can be a blessing in disguise. As Lamar reminded me last week, "man's rejection is God's protection." Say that, Reverend Lamar!

If you say that you are for God, be prepared for some valleys but know that the peaks are just around the corner. God's grace won't take you anywhere that his mercy won't carry you. As you are being carried just make sure that you are going through with an open hand. You never know what sorts of goodies you will catch!